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This is not a review of Wicked: For Good, because I have not seen the movie and I don’t really plan to. I didn’t much care for part one, a fact that seems to have upset a lot of people, and I am therefore not interested in seeing part two. Granted, if the opportunity to see it without paying falls into my lap I will certainly check it out with an open mind, but I do not plan to seek out Wicked: For Good. That said, I hope all who do want to see it get everything out of it that they wish for, and then some. I find it legitimately life-affirming that people who don’t normally go to the movies have found a reason to go, even if that reason is a (half) film that I found to be utterly repellent and poorly made.
Yet I feel compelled to write this on account of the experience I had last year when I gave the first (half) movie a negative review. See, I’m the guy that likes mostly everything, and you’d be surprised at how much pushback I get as a critic for being so forgiving. When I give a positive review I often get a dismissive “well you like everything” in response. As if positivity, which Wicked claims to champion, mind you, is a bad thing. This response chaps my ass for two reasons:
- I don’t like everything. I dislike plenty of movies, I’m just really good at avoiding the films that I know I won’t like.
- I don’t understand what’s so wrong with trying to find the good in every movie I see — I think all filmgoers should enter the theater with the intention to enjoy. Otherwise, what is the point of leaving your house and rolling the dice on a $20 ticket?
Conversely, when I don’t like a movie, readers tend to reactors strongly, mostly because negative reviews are where my comedy chops shine, but also quite likely because I really do take pains to find something good about every film I see (and if you read my initial Wicked review, I do indeed compliment the performances). But there’s a weird byproduct to my rare negative reviews. Namely, the dismissive “bahhh you like everything” is suddenly replaced with this weird notion that a negative review from me carries an insane amount of weight (which is doubly laughable when you recognize that film criticism is being handily and thoroughly replaced by influencers, whose whole job is hype rather than analysis). And in the case of Wicked, people took my negative review personally in a way I’ve never seen before. It wasn’t just a case of whiplash because the guy who “likes everything” hated the movie either. I can count on hands and feet the number of people who reached out to me privately to tell me how important the movie is to them and to the culture of whatever demographic they chose to be the mouthpiece for that day. I received text messages from people who I hadn’t heard from in years telling me they would never read anything I wrote ever again (some jokingly, some serious). I even received an email from a stranger via the contact form on my website, asking me to give them a call so they could explain why my words were “dangerous and irresponsible.”
(I feel obligated at this point to give a hearty thank you to a friend of mine who reached out with amusement toward my strongly worded review, and who, when I, as someone allergic to conflict, began to waver in the conviction of my piece on account of the strong pushback, assured me that I was entitled to my opinion).
Perhaps my favorite bit of pushback is the sentence that I heard ad nauseum in response to my published words:
“You can’t say that.”
Ahem: YES THE FUCK I CAN (please mentally insert clap emojis between each word for emphasis). I can say whatever I want on my website, and you are free to scroll on by. And to be fair, you are free to contact me too, and I am free to roll my eyes and go about my day, or even sit on my toilet one cold morning and crank out a pissy think piece about the experience.
It’s one thing to say you disagree and then to explain why, but to say I’m wrong in a wholly subjective matter, well, that’s just not how art works. There is no such thing as a factually good or factually bad movie. It’s possible for a film to be both. In fact, ALL films are both. The Godfather is an outright masterpiece, but I know a few very smart people with very good taste who just can’t get into it. To these fine folks, The Godfather is not a good movie. And while I disagree with them wholeheartedly, it’s not like I can throw down some data and “prove” that it’s a good film in such a way that they change their mind. Taste is taste — my favorite color is orange and I cannot tell you why.
Overall, my hobby (yes, hobby — there’s very little money to be found in this vocation beyond free movies, although my Wicked review is the most viewed post on my website by a huge margin, and one of the few that actually netted me some cash as a result) is often an exercise in trying to please an audience that fails to understand that my work as a critic has nothing to do with pleasing an audience. I am not here to echo your opinion, dear reader. I am here to say mine, and that’s really it. This hobby is about describing my experience with a film and then letting the audience make a decision on whether or not to see it based upon my reasoning. This is why I take pains to avoid discussing films in objective terms. Objectivity has no place in art. If it did, we would only need one critic, and it probably wouldn’t be me.
If you’re the type of person who reads criticism, I would hope that you understand this.
Believe it or not, I rarely read any film criticism myself, but I have a few favorite writers who I either tend to agree with or at least respect their perspectives enough that it gives weight to what they say. From there I can decide whether I want to see a movie or not, or, if I’m reading the review after seeing the movie, I can let my own opinions converse with theirs in a way that I feel is mentally stimulating.
Again, if Wicked: For Good finds its way to me, I will happily see it with an open mind, and if I enjoy it, I will say so. If I don’t enjoy it, I will also say so. I am open to both possibilities and I am, as always, hoping for the former outcome.
But there’s a catch: You, fellow moviegoer, need to also be open to both possibilities. You cannot take it as fact that Wicked: For Good is unassailable, and that any dissent is an affront to your impeccable tastes. You must watch it with an open mind. You must watch it with hope that you will enjoy it. You must look for all of the things about it that make you happy … and you must be open to the idea that it may not come together for you. It’s one thing to go in with the highest of hopes (admirable!), but it’s a disservice to the film to treat it as wholly above criticism. Working backwards from a chosen conclusion has always been a lazy way of thinking (sorta like seeing a green witch and deciding she’s evil without ever hearing her story), and the world of art appreciation is no exception to this. Sure, I’ll cop to the fact that my generally positive demeanor may dilute the sway of my more positive reviews, but I’ll never ever give you my opinion on a film until I’ve seen it from beginning to end, and I will always be honest about my experience. This is why I can’t currently tell you if Wicked: For Good is a good movie or not. All I can say is that I’m not terribly interested in finding out.
And if Wicked: For Good does indeed come together for you, and it entertains you, and it impresses you, and it moves you (which I sincerely hope it does) you have to be open to the idea that it may not do the same for someone else, which is perfectly okay.
I leave this essay with an inquiry that I’ve been making since day one of Wicked fever, and it’s something that we should be able to consider about all of our favorite works of art: If someone’s distaste for your favorite art hampers your enjoyment of said art, was the art ever really that good in the first place? If your favorite movie loses some of its appeal because some stranger on the internet didn’t care for it, does that not speak to some sort of weakness on the part of the film? If not that, it certainly highlights the fact that the viewer in question is more interested in the fandom than the film itself, which is perfectly fine, but it’s not what film critics do.
To put it metaphorically, if a few drops of rain ruin your whole parade, maybe the parade was shitty to begin with. Or, if I’m being charitable, perhaps you’re just focusing on the wrong thing.
Take it from me, a guy who “likes everything”: Enjoy the parade. You’ll miss it if you spend the whole time being mad at the rain.
